tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
