SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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