I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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