I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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