Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
