Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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