His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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