Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
