I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
