Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
