Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize