It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
