The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
