She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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