Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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