We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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