i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
