It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
two words: eviction party
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
