Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
