Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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