I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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