Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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