Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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