i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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