My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
