too bad you live with your parents still
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
