Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
