Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
