Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry my hands just texted you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
