Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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