East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
