ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
