He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
