He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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