If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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