Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
