She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
