so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
