I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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