he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
