we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
