just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
