We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
