To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
