Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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