I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
