I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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