Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
