Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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