She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
